What I have to work with.

Hmm. Sorry, this just will not do. 

I have creases where there should not be any.

Jesus, I look like a sack of potatoes. 

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Starting here, do not want to be here again.

Note to anyone not me. This blog is for me,  a diary. I’m happy to share but just so you know…

It is just short of 350 days to my 40th birthday. Let me describe myself a little. I’m 1.83 meters (6 feet) in height and weigh just short of 108kg (238lbs). I’m rather fat (with moobs), very unhealthy (both in diet and in fitness). And I’ve been like this for 15 years.

Over the past couple of years I’ve tried to adjust myself but have not been successful. I do not have a body which wants to work with my mind, rather against it.

My mind itself is rather fat and unhealthy as well. I have been on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication for 10 years on and off. I’ve also been diagnosed with OCD. I have now been referred to adult autistic services for diagnoses as well. Both body and mind fat, flabby, flawed and uncontrolled.

So I’m making a kind of commitment to myself that by my 40th birthday I will be fitter (in both mind and body) than I have been for the past 20 years. And I intend to document that here. I’ll update my body measurements and the exercise I have done, with words and pictures. I’ll also write a little about the day, feelings and how my flawed mind feels. Over the next year, I have a lot to change, many habits to form and break.

Tycho.